


blood red lips and wine-stained fingertips

by okamiwind



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Crossdressing, If you didn't want this fic you shouldnt have given him such a good wig, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 04:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20772326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okamiwind/pseuds/okamiwind
Summary: No one who is anyone knows his real name.They know him as Yujin. They know him as she. They know him as her.





	blood red lips and wine-stained fingertips

No one who is anyone knows his real name. 

They know him as Yujin. They know him as she. They know _him_ as _her_. 

He’s perfected his alias over the last four years, learned how to forge specifically so he could operate without always looking over his shoulder. Kim Yujin has proper identification, a birth certificate of her own. Kim Yujin has a passport, has credit cards. Kim Yujin is beautiful, always has an alibi, is virtually untraceable. But the layers of Kim Yujin can be peeled away. Baekhyun’s always there. Underneath. 

Baekhyun is a praying mantis, hands folded primly, perfectly just moments before he rips a man’s head off. Baekhyun is belladonna, dark purple poison dripping from his lips. Baekhyun is a black widow, an hourglass wrapped in red latex, and Yujin is busy, always busy. 

Clients pay her handsomely, but Baekhyun doesn’t live like he could. He funnels money back into work. Makes everything perfect. He’s got two phones, and he keeps track of everything. 

He sits at Yujin’s vanity in his underwear, a baby pink lace triangle-top bralette with harness straps criss-crossing across his chest, a thong and garter belt to match, stockings rolled up his legs. He’s already tucked, his short, blonde bob for the evening on and glued, pinned back away from his face. It’s all part of the illusion, part of sinking himself into a character.

The vanity is pure white lacquered wood, Hollywood-style bulbs along the mirror illuminating him. He pats a thin, sticky serum from Sulwahsoo onto his face, plucks a few stray hairs from his brows, and lays out his makeup for the evening. He’s going with a light base, glowy and fresh, shimmery eyes lined with smoky chocolate brown liner, a dark red gloss at the center of his lips. Diffused blush, a blinding highlight. Pat McGrath, Shiseido, Dior, Cle de Peau, Charlotte Tilbury, Fenty. He puts it in front of him neatly as he waits for his face to dry, makes straight lines of the palettes, the bottles, the brushes. 

He applies his makeup with an expert hand. Baekhyun is skilled, trained extensively in three arts: knives, poison, and beauty. 

He sprays his Hakuhudo S121 with rose water before dipping it into a shimmering white-gold shadow, sweeping it across his lid in one fluid motion, each movement practiced hundreds, thousands of times. When all is said and done, hair pins thrown aside, understated lashes applied, his gloss sticky and sweet, he stands up, walks to his full length mirror, cocking his hip to the side as he studies his reflection. 

Baekhyun snaps the pink garter along the fullness of his thigh before he smirks at himself in the mirror, goes to his closet. 

Baekhyun steps into the peach-pink silk dress, and he studies the lines of his underwear showing through. Men like that. Men like seeing the lines. Men like imagining what’s happening underneath. He traces them with his fingertips, skimming along the lace. If they knew what was happening underneath, they’d run. 

He grabs his blade from the case, rucks up the dress, slips it under his garter along the inside of his thigh. When he lowers the dress back down, he smoothes it. Searches for a razor thin line. None where it matters. 

Baekhyun walks back over to Yujin’s bedside table, picks up his burner phone, swipes through to his calendar even though he already knows where he’s going, when, and why. Yujin wouldn’t check twice. Yujin is careless and fun. Baekhyun, though… he always checks twice. 

He is on recon, planting the seed. He knows his target. Knows what he’s after. Baekhyun doesn’t like chasing after a hit. Baekhyun likes when they come to him. 

Yujin might look distracted, but Baekhyun never is. 

He slips into his heels, grabs his purse, and calls a cab.  
  


«

Nirvana is exclusive, has a strict dress code and an entrance fee of 30,000, but he is beautiful, flirtatious, and they know her. They know she is good. Baekhyun slips inside at no charge, already laughing, already clinging to some girls that he met in line. They are all drunk, and he plays the part, giggling and pointing them towards a table that is blessedly empty.

There are two huge floors in Nirvana, the lower level that is dense with sound, light, and alcohol, and the upper level that perches above it all, watching those who want to be watched. He and his group of girls get approached almost immediately, a group of men staring eagerly at them like they’re ready to eat. 

He is viscerally disgusted by their eyes touching him, their hands glancing at him, but he smiles, leans into it, gets the champagne in his head and in his eyes. Looks the part. Drunk, flighty, ready to go. 

Baekhyun goes to the floor with them, and they dance, Baekhyun surrounding himself with the girls so that they can’t put their hands on him. It’s then that he begins to work, scanning for the mark. He is not hard to find, even in the loudness, even with the flashing lights. 

The mark’s hair is dyed greyish purple, shaved at the sides, long on top. He’s got slits in his left eyebrow, a tattoo on his neck. Baekhyun makes eye contact with the man, his arms wrapped around one of his new girlfriends, and Baekhyun smiles at him. He gets a smile in return. 

For tonight, his work is done. He has shown his face. He has begun the game.  
  


«

They dance.

He dances for a couple fuckin’ hours, so long that his feet ache in his heels. He gets water from the bar, drinks away the two glasses of champagne he allowed himself, rehydrates as the party rages on, as the girls he came with get drunker and drunker, the men’s hands on them more and more aggressive. He keeps them safe, even if they don’t know it. Scolds one who leaves her drink unguarded. He waffles when she tears up. Maybe he was too harsh. But then she throws her arms around him, thanking Yujin profusely. He likes that. Likes getting to watch out for them.

There is one man among the group who is respectful, a rarity. He’s got dark hair and eyes, blisteringly hot, and in another world, Baekhyun thinks he might have taken him to bed, might have fallen head first over him, but it isn’t another world, so he walks over to the couches, sits down and plays with his phone, looks like a drunk girl who is trying to sober up. Surreptitiously, he watches the man dance with one of Baekhyun’s new friends, a cheerful, funny girl named Sooyoung who stands just about Baekhyun’s height, and is, in his estimation, much prettier than him. 

“Hey,” Sooyoung says, and she flips her long black hair over her shoulder, a line of sweat on her collarbones. “What are you doing over here?” 

“My feet are killing me,” Baekhyun complains, and he shrugs his shoulders, flumps around a little on the cushions, rubbing at his ankle with his free hand. “_Sit with me._” 

Sooyoung laughs, sits next to him, puts her head on Baekhyun’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” she says drunkenly, “God, let’s hang out again sometime, okay?” 

“_Yes_,” Baekhyun hisses. “Please, next weekend! But I’m gonna wear better shoes, I swear.” 

“Chunky heels,” Sooyoung says, and she knocks her toe against Baekhyun’s. “Fashionable, but the comfort…” 

“You’re a genius.” He whines, and she laughs, and this, he determines, is the best part of his job. The girls he meets. The ones he gets to protect. “I saw you with that guy. He was cute.” 

“Shut up,” Sooyoung says. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

He shoves her with his shoulder. “Why?” And she whines exaggeratedly, making him laugh. “Why?” 

“Because he asked about you,” Sooyoung says. “And, okay, I’m not the jealous type, and you’re my new best friend, so I’m not gonna let this come between us, okay? You should go talk to him.” 

Baekhyun looks back to the dance floor, sees the guy looking directly at him, and he thinks _Maybe this_ is_ another world_ before he walks over. 

The music is thumping in his ears, and for some reason, Baekhyun is more terrified than he’s ever been, approaching the man with the thin white t-shirt, the dark, dignified brow. He knows he would never let himself get anywhere close to sex. It’s too dangerous. But still, even flirtation with genuine intent is uncharted territory for him, in Yujin’s body, thinking like Yujin. 

“Hi,” the man says softly, and it is so strange, the gentleness in his voice. It doesn’t belong in a club, shouldn’t undercut these basslines, but Baekhyun steps forward anyway, rests his hand on the man’s shoulder as he leans in, whispering to Baekhyun’s ear. “You’re really pretty.” 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun whispers back, and he lets his lips trail along the shell of the man’s ear. “What’s your name?”

“Sehun. You?” 

“Yujin,” Baekhyun answers, and he pulls back, smiles at Sehun, letting his hand trail down Sehun’s arm. “You can call me noona.” 

“Okay,” Sehun says happily. “Noona.” 

“Do you want to dance with me?” 

“Would you maybe wanna talk a little? I could buy you a drink, if you wanted,” Sehun say, but Baekhyun doesn’t intend on hanging around that long. The disapproval must register on Baekhyun’s face because Sehun laughs. “Or…?” 

“Dance first,” Baekhyun offers, and he twirls his hair around his ring finger. “Talk after.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Sehun agrees. “Let’s dance.”  
  


«

Baekhyun doesn’t know what time it is, and he doesn’t care to know. He’s stayed here much longer than he anticipated staying, but he can’t seem to step away, even when Sehun goes to the bar, even when Sehun gives him the opportunity to run.

Sehun returns to the dance floor, his breath smelling sweetly of sugar, and Baekhyun holds onto him like he is staking a claim. _Back off, bitches. This one belongs to me._

He’s never felt anything like the territorial, possessive ball of arousal that spins in his stomach, but he leans into it, rests up against it the way he throws himself into Sehun’s arms. 

They grind their bodies against each other, sticky heat dripping down them, and Baekhyun is close to losing control. For the first time in his career, he thinks about throwing it away. He thinks about letting himself go. He thinks long and hard about the leg splitting his own, thinks about riding Sehun’s thigh until he can’t see straight, until all he can hear is his own hammering breath. 

Sehun’s hand on the small of his back holds him tight, and Baekhyun moans sharply into Sehun’s ear as they move together, as he forgets himself in a fantasy that could never come to fruition. 

Baekhyun lets himself be held, lets himself be treated softly, gently. But there is something barely restrained, a fervent, feverish passion that Baekhyun could only dream of brushing up against. He can feel it under the surface, bubbling, boiling cinnamon liqueur, sugary, intoxicating. 

_What if this was something I could have? What if I could be normal again? What if I could leave everything else behind and just have something like this?_

Sehun leans forward with a grin, presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek before he whispers in Baekhyun’s ear. 

“What are you thinking?” 

Baekhyun trails fingers down the slope of Sehun’s neck, watches him squirm under the touch. 

“I’m not thinking anything,” Baekhyun says, and he lets Sehun read his lips, still sticky with gloss even though they’ve kissed most of it away, even though Sehun wears some of that gloss on his mouth now, red and bitten. 

“You’re thinking something,” Sehun says, and he raises his voice to call over the music as he calls Sehun’s bluff. “I can tell. I’m very smart. I know when you’re deep in thought.” 

“Yeah?” Baekhyun leans in, and his hands begin to play with the hem of Sehun’s shirt, stiletto sharp fingernails tickling against his skin. “What am I thinking?” 

Sehun is close enough again to whisper it lowly, gently, softly, and it sends a shiver of pleasure down Baekhyun’s spine. 

“I don’t know _what_ you’re thinking,” Sehun says. “Only that you’re thinking something. I’m not a mindreader. Life wouldn’t be any fun that way.” 

“No?” Baekhyun says, and he lays the flat of his palm along Sehun’s stomach, the skin soft and hot under his hand. “You don’t think? I think it would be really fun.” 

“I don’t know. If you can read people’s minds, then there are no surprises.” 

_Exactly,_ Baekhyun thinks. 

“You like to be surprised?” Baekhyun asks, and he takes Sehun’s hand in his, directs it to rest over Baekhyun’s ass. “Hm?” 

“Yeah,” Sehun says eagerly. “Every now and then.” 

“But it can be too much sometimes, can’t it?” 

“Too much of anything is a bad thing.” 

Sehun stares at Baekhyun’s mouth, and already, Baekhyun is hungry for another taste. He closes the miniscule gap between them, takes Sehun’s mouth in a kiss that tastes like booze and sentiment. He licks at Sehun’s tongue, swallows his answering moan, and Baekhyun pushes his hips against Sehun’s, desperate to feel him. 

It is with great displeasure that Baekhyun pulls back, stares at the remnants of his gloss on Sehun’s lips, smeared with red. 

“You think there’s such a thing as too much of that?” Baekhyun asks, and he presses a pure, chaste kiss to Sehun’s lips. “Hm?” 

“No,” Sehun says. “No such thing.” 

“That’s what I thought,” Baekhyun says sweetly, and he lays his head on Sehun’s shoulder. “Hold me tight.” 

Sehun grins, gathers Baekhyun into his arms. “I don’t need to be told twice.” He holds on tight. 

“I’ll remember that,” Baekhyun says. 

“I have a feeling you remember everything,” Sehun says, and a hot bolt of arousal mixed with fear cuts through Baekhyun’s stomach. 

He lets his eyes flutter closed, smiles, kittenish. 

“What makes you say that?” Baekhyun asks, and he knits his fingers around the back of Sehun’s neck, the tips of his nails scratching.

“I dunno,” Sehun says. “Just a hunch.”  
  


«

Sooyoung hooks her arm through Baekhyun’s and hauls him to the bathroom, laughing up a storm like Baekhyun’s said something hilarious.

“Oh my god,” Baekhyun says, the laughter infectious, smiling into the mirror as he combs his fingers through his hair, untangling some of the knots. “What are you doing?” 

“What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing?” 

“Nothing,” Baekhyun says primly, a curve at the side of his mouth. “Just having fun.” 

“Are you going home with him?” 

“Who said anything about that?” Baekhyun teases. “I’m just having a good time.” 

“God, you’re so lucky,” Sooyoung whines, and she pulls a gloss from her bag, reapplies it as she stares at herself in the mirror. “Just _once_ I would like to meet a guy who is not a total piece of shit.” 

“Try girls,” Baekhyun offers. 

“Don’t be insensitive.” 

“Fair,” Baekhyun says. “And how do you know he’s not a total piece of shit, by the way?” 

“Look at him,” Sooyoung says. “He’s handsome.” 

“This is why you meet pieces of shit,” Baekhyun scolds. “You can’t judge a book by its cover!” 

“Okay, _Mom_, then why are you kissing him?” 

“He’s… he’s okay,” Baekhyun says. “He’s nice.” 

“_See_?” Sooyoung screeches, and she stomps her foot. “I’m so unlucky.” 

“I’ll see if he has a friend,” Baekhyun tells her. 

“Really?” 

“It’s the least I can do for my new best friend,” Baekhyun says, and he is then accosted by her, crazy strong in her drunkenness, and Baekhyun struggles for breath as she squeezes him. “_Hey_.” 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she chants, and she starts to bounce on her heels, so Baekhyun ends up bouncing with her before she pulls back, planting a glossy kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek. “Original question.” 

“What?” 

“Are you going home with him?” 

“Nah,” Baekhyun says. “But I’ll put in a good word for you, okay?” 

Sooyoung looks disappointed, but Baekhyun doesn’t blame her. Sehun is a fucking catch, and in another world, he would make him come so hard he wouldn’t be able to feel his fingers after. But he needs to start detaching himself. It is 4:30 in the morning, and he needs to start waking up to his reality. He is a man dressed as a woman, and his work is dangerous. There’s no time to be getting involved with anyone.  
  


«

When they walk back out of the bathroom, Sehun is waiting for him on the couch.

“Hey,” Sehun says. “You were in there a long time.” 

“Powdering... stuff.” 

Sehun throws his head back on a laugh before wiping a bit at the gloss at Baekhyun’s cheek, making him flush. Sehun gestures to the bar. “I told them you were on my tab.” He nudges Baekhyun with a shoulder. “If you wanted a drink.” 

Baekhyun blinks at him, presses a kiss to his cheek. 

“I think I’m done for tonight,” Baekhyun warns, and he looks around. “I think I might just get water.” 

“Water’s free,” Sehun says with a pouting frown. “I wanted to buy you something.” 

It is a silly sentence, even sillier for the way it puts butterflies in Baekhyun’s stomach. He’s never felt that way before when a man was insistent on buying him a drink, so why now? He needs to take his own advice. He’s being charmed because Sehun’s handsome. 

“I could go for tteokbokki,” Baekhyun says, and he puts his hand on his stomach. “Cheese tteokbokki.” 

“You wanna go?” Sehun offers. 

Baekhyun is shocked by this person, soft and sweet and pure in a way that shouldn’t exist. _Has anyone ever hurt you?_, he wonders. _Am I going to be the first?_

“O-Oh my god,” Baekhyun says, and he lays his head on Sehun’s shoulder. “Stop. You’re too nice.” 

“No, I’m just hungry,” Sehun laughs, but then his lips go to a line, serious in a sweet way. “And also, it would be nice to see you in a different setting. One that’s not so… loud.” 

Baekhyun tilts his head, looks up at Sehun. Confused. Endeared. 

“Yeah, that’d be good,” Baekhyun says.

Baekhyun holds Sehun’s gaze, searches him, tries to figure him out, but he just finds a puzzle, a maze. The walls around him are tumbling down, and Baekhyun struggles to hold them up. 

“Why does it feel like you’re about to say goodbye?” Sehun asks softly, and Baekhyun is forced to read his lips. 

Baekhyun puts out his jaw even though he knows how manly it makes him look, a little seam in his unclockable facade, but he puts out his jaw, purses his lips, and Sehun swoops down to kiss him, the rest of his girlfriends filtering out one by one until it is just the two of them left. He loses track of time when they embrace, and that is too much. Much too much. 

“I have to go,” Baekhyun says, and he stands, brushes down the sides of his dress, fixes his hair. 

“Ah.” Sehun frowns. He leads the way, leads Baekhyun out. “I get it.” 

“No, it’s—” 

“Let me down gently,” Sehun smiles, and they walk into the cool air, groups dispersing all around them. “Go on.” 

“I don’t think… I mean, you’re a really nice guy and everything,” Baekhyun says. “But I don’t think I could… listen, I just—it’s a bad night for me? And I have to get up tomorrow. Like, at a reasonable hour. For work!” 

“What do you do?” Sehun asks. 

“I’m a secretary,” Baekhyun says. “I type.” 

“You work on Sunday?” 

Baekhyun stops breathing, ensnared for a millisecond, but the lie comes quickly.

“Overtime for a big project,” Baekhyun says, and he pumps his fist. “Triple time.” 

“Cool,” Sehun smiles, and he brushes Baekhyun’s hair out of his face, tucks a lock behind his ear. “That’s cool. Sorry I kept you.” 

“You didn’t keep me,” Baekhyun says, and it is the truth, as truthful as he’s ever been as Yujin. “I wanted to stay.” 

“It’s okay,” Sehun laughs. “You don’t have to tell me you’ve got a headache.” 

“And what if I _do_ have a headache?”

“I wasn’t trying to be pushy, that’s all,” Sehun says. “I’ll… well, I had fun tonight. Thanks to you.” 

“Y-Yeah,” Baekhyun says, “yeah, same.” 

“Maybe I’ll see you around.” 

“Y-Yeah,” Baekhyun says. “You will.”

“Can I give you my number?” Sehun asks, and before Baekhyun can change his mind, he is offering his iPhone out to Sehun, the phone case glittering under the streetlights that are rapidly becoming redundant as the day thinks about breaking. 

Sehun smiles, and he takes Baekhyun’s phone from his hands, and their fingertips brush before Sehun keys in his number, smirking down at the display as he does so. Baekhyun tries to peek over to spy on him, but Sehun wrenches it away with a tut of his tongue. 

When he’s finished, he says, “There,” and he puts his arm around Baekhyun, the weight of him wonderful. “Look cute, please.” 

Baekhyun stares wide-eyed at the front-facing camera, and Sehun squeezes the button prematurely, makes Baekhyun squawk in displeasure. 

“I said _look cute_, didn’t I?” Sehun laughs, but he saves the picture anyway, slides the phone back into Baekhyun’s hand. “I can send you my KKT.” 

“Okay,” Baekhyun says, and he doesn’t know why he’s letting him get so close, why he’s letting this happen, but there’s a part of him that’s so fucking desperate for it, wants it so fucking much. 

“Okay.” And Sehun kisses him again and again, nothing left on Baekhyun’s lips except for lies. “Okay, sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Baekhyun says, and he forces himself to disengage, forces himself to step away. “I’ll talk to you soon.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise,” Baekhyun lies, and he presses one more kiss to Sehun’s lips before he turns, before he walks off, beginning his search for a cab. 

He gets about five meters. 

“_Noona_,” Sehun calls, and Baekhyun turns like he was waiting for it, his hair whipping into his face. 

Sehun looks so beautiful then, in the midnight sun, the barest glimpses of orange and red streaming down from the sky above them. 

“What?” 

“Do you wanna go get coffee?” Sehun offers, and he accompanies it with a little laugh, like _Look how pitiful I am._ “I could finally buy you something.” 

Baekhyun is not used to being invited by men anywhere besides a bed, and it shocks through him, little zips of pleasure. _I don’t care_, he thinks. _Just a little taste of it would be enough._

“Y-Yeah,” Baekhyun finds himself answering, and his heels _tick tack_ along the sidewalk as he walks back over, putting his hand in Sehun’s. 

“Really?” 

“Really,” Baekhyun says. 

Sehun smiles, all his teeth, and he looks innocent, looks like a kid, and Baekhyun nearly knocks their foreheads together when they kiss. 

“I know a place. It’s not that far, only two blocks,” Sehun offers, but he looks down at Baekhyun’s feet. “But should we get a cab?” 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “I can walk.” 

“You sure?” 

“I’m sure,” Baekhyun says, and he laces his arm through Sehun’s. “They’re open this late?” 

“This _early_,” Sehun corrects, and Baekhyun swings at him, making Sehun giggle like a moron. “But yes. Twenty-four hours.” 

“That’s lucky.” 

“Mm.” He looks at Baekhyun, at his bare arms. “Are you cold?” 

“No, I’m okay,” Baekhyun says, and he bites his lip. “Ah, I guess I should have said yes?” 

“It would have been a good moment,” Sehun says, and Baekhyun’s heels echo out their rhythm of their movement. “Very dramatic.” 

“What would you have done?” Baekhyun challenges. “Would you have put your arm around me? Would you have rubbed my arm?” 

“If only I had a coat,” Sehun says wistfully. “God, you would have been _so_ charmed by me.” 

“Who says I’m not already?” 

Sehun looks at him, smiles. “Are you now?” He squeezes Baekhyun’s hand along his bicep. “And here I thought I was gonna have to keep working at it.” 

“The work is what makes you charming,” Baekhyun says. “I like that.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sehun says. “What else do you like? I need to make sure I get it all down.” 

“I like… I like cute things,” Baekhyun says. “And I like cake.” 

“Vanilla? Chocolate? Strawberry?” 

“Chocolate,” Baekhyun says. “Lots of chocolate.” 

“What kind of music do you like?” Sehun asks. 

“AKMU,” Baekhyun says shyly. “Bolbbalgan4.” 

“Ah,” Sehun says. “Cute.” 

“Wh-what about you?” Baekhyun asks. “What’s your… what’s your favorite color?” 

“Color?” 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says. “You can learn a lot about people by their favorite color. Come on. I’m sure you have one.” 

“Black,” Sehun says. “What’s that say about me?” 

“You’re moody,” Baekhyun says. “Oh, let me guess your blood type. AB?” 

“_No_,” Sehun frowns, offended, his brow knitting in the center. “O.” 

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, “me too.” 

“Ah, I knew it! That’s perfect, ah, I’m so glad!” 

Baekhyun studies him for a moment, feels more of his walls tumbling down. 

“Do you… do you really believe in the blood types and all that?” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Sehun says, and he nods, Baekhyun barking out a laugh. “What’s so funny about that?” 

“It’s nonsense,” Baekhyun says. 

“No, it isn’t,” Sehun says. “It’s not nonsense.” 

“It’s a little nonsensical.” 

“It is legitimate, and you are being mean to me. If I hold this against you, please don’t worry. I’ll get over it with time. I’m type O, so I feel things very deeply.”

“Oh my _god_,” Baekhyun mutters, and it makes Sehun laugh. 

They slow to a stop when they reach the deserted coffee shop, Sehun holding the door open for him. They step inside, and the guy at the counter barely reacts. Sehun orders, two Americanos, and Baekhyun stands there alongside him, tucked into him. They walk to a booth near the window, and Baekhyun thinks _Isn’t this nice? Couldn’t I get used to this?_

And that’s always been the most dangerous part. Getting used to it. Reaccustomed with normalcy. He wasn’t always like this, wasn’t always wrapped up in the game. If he wants any semblance of a normal life, any semblance of something he could do _forever_, then he couldn’t be Yujin and Sehun would have never given him a second look. 

It is a mildly depressing thought to mull over with the coffee in front of him, his ankle hooked around Sehun’s under the table. 

“Tell me about you,” Baekhyun says. “Tell me about your life.” 

“I’m twenty-six,” Sehun starts. “I live in Hongdae.” 

“Job?” 

“I work for a tech company,” Sehun says. “The guys with me… co-workers.” 

“They’re—,” and Baekhyun touches his chin, searches for a delicate way to say _assholes_, “interesting.” 

“They’re gross,” Sehun laughs. “I don’t really hang out with them much. But… I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I should get out more.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Sehun says. “I mostly sit at home, play with my dog, eat, and watch movies.” 

He’s so _normal_, and Baekhyun aches for it. Normalcy. What’s it like? He can’t remember the flavor of it. 

“You have a dog?” Baekhyun says. “Is it cute?” 

“Extremely cute,” Sehun says. “But I think all dog owners say that about their dogs.” 

“Are you saying I can’t trust you?” 

“_No_, just that what’s true for one person isn’t necessarily true for another. These things are… subjective.” 

“Beauty is objective,” Baekhyun argues. 

Sehun shakes his head, hands around his cup. “No, it isn’t.” He reaches out slowly, like he needed time to focus his thoughts. He touches Baekhyun’s hand, their fingers playing at each other’s. “I don’t think it’s objective.” 

“You’re too young,” Baekhyun chides him. “You don’t understand.” 

“I think I understand enough.” Sehun looks at him, and Baekhyun is wondering if maybe he can see right through him. “What do you think is so objective about beauty?” 

“It’s just… it is, okay?” Baekhyun says, frustrated. “Why do you think it isn’t?” 

“Well, I mean _I_ find you attractive, but that doesn’t mean everyone will.” 

“Shut up. Everyone finds me attractive,” Baekhyun says. 

Sehun smirks at him, tightens his hold on Baekhyun’s hand. 

“I like a confident woman.” 

Something about it immediately jars Baekhyun out of the moment, and the realization dawns on him that he was totally lost in the moment, not acting like Yujin, but talking like himself. Talking the way Baekhyun would talk. He’s too deep. He’s let himself sink too far down. 

He detaches Sehun’s hands from his, covers them with his own with a pat. 

“I don’t think I can do this,” Baekhyun says, and it fucking kills him to say it. “I’m sorry.” 

“I-Is it something I said?” Sehun asks. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t—” 

“No, no, you’re… you’re perfect, I just… I sort of have this thing.” 

“What kind of thing?” 

“A dick,” Baekhyun says. 

“Oh, y-you—wait, what?”

“I’m a man,” Baekhyun says, and he pitches his voice down to normal. “Sorry.” 

“O-Oh,” Sehun says, and he looks down at the table. “Oh, okay.” 

“Yeah, so I’m sorry for wasting your time,” Baekhyun says. “I should have, like, said something, but it’s not really the type of thing I tell people.” 

“No, it’s okay,” Sehun says. “S-Sorry, I’m just… that kind of came out of nowhere.” 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun smiles, and even he can feel the sadness in it. “Sorry.” 

He stands up, makes to leave. 

“Wait!” 

He looks back, stares down at Sehun’s hand wrapped around his wrist. 

“I’m, uh,” Sehun says, and he looks nervous as he slowly raises his gaze, locking onto Baekhyun’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have grabbed you. I just didn’t want you to… to leave so soon.” 

“I don’t wanna get murdered,” Baekhyun says with a smile. 

“I’m not really the murdering type,” Sehun says. “Can you… could you sit back down? If that’s all that’s… I mean, if you’re uncomfortable, if you’re just looking for a way out, you can leave, but if you’re just leaving because you’re worried th—if you’re nervous that I’m not gonna still want to talk, then… then you should stay.” 

Baekhyun’s mouth is dry as he stares down at Sehun. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Sehun says. “At least finish your coffee. It was expensive.” 

It wasn’t, and Sehun couples it with a half-smile. Baekhyun looks at him, tries to figure him out. He sits down again, grabs his coffee and holds it between his hands. 

“So, is this, like, your gay awakening?” Baekhyun asks. 

It elicits a laugh, the desired response. 

“I don’t think so,” Sehun says. “Being attracted to a person who presents as traditionally feminine is pretty straight, isn’t it?” There is a challenging glint in his eye, and he couples it with a smile. 

“Don’t try to psych me out, you know what I meant,” Baekhyun says. “Aren’t you straight?” 

“No,” Sehun says. “I-I’ve… well, I’ve never told any of my close friends this, but I’ve been with a guy before. He was… for a long time, he was my boyfriend.” 

“_Really_.” 

“Is that so hard to believe?” 

“You?” Baekhyun says, and he stares at Sehun’s chest, at what appears to be a very straight man, the lines of him bending the more Baekhyun looks at him. “Yeah, sort of.” 

“I don’t know,” Sehun says. “I can’t control my aura.” 

“People see what they want to see,” Baekhyun says. “What they think they’re seeing.” 

“Like with you,” Sehun says. “You don’t look—” 

“I put a lot of _effort_ into not looking like… anything,” Baekhyun says. 

“Are you… do you identify as a man?” Sehun asks, head tilting to the side like a puppy that’s heard a new sound. “I mean, I don’t want to be rude. Should I call you hyung? Or still noona? W-Whatever you want. I mean...” 

It is such a sweet question, the kind that feels like sugar on his teeth. It makes him ache with happiness. 

“Hyung,” Baekhyun says. “A-And... I gave you a fake name. Before. I’m not really Yujin.” 

“Oh,” Sehun says, and he looks at his hands. “Oh, right, okay. Yeah. Duh.” 

“It’s, uh, I don’t normally tell people my real name,” Baekhyun confesses, “not when I’m dressed like this.” 

“You don’t have to tell me.” He takes Baekhyun’s hand in his. “Not if you don’t want.” 

“You’d just call me hyung?” Baekhyun smiles. “And not care what my name is?” 

“I don’t—I mean, I just like you, I think,” Sehun says. “I like what… what we are.” 

“What’s that?” 

“What?” 

“What are we?” Baekhyun asks. 

“I don’t know,” Sehun answers, and every bit of him is so fucking honest. “I just feel something. Don’t you?” 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says. “I do.” 

He will regret it come morning, but Sehun is too good to pass up. He will let himself have this and when he’s through, he will tell himself that he can never have it again. 

When they’re finished their coffee, Baekhyun stands, laces his fingers through Sehun’s. “You said Hongdae, right?” 

“Yeah,” Sehun says. 

“Let me come home with you, then,” Baekhyun says. “Assuming that’s something you’re interested in.” 

“I am,” Sehun says. “As long as you’re interested too.” 

“I am,” Baekhyun says. “But once this all comes off… then too?” 

“Then too.”  
  


«

The ride is tense, and Sehun puts his hand on Baekhyun’s leg like he’s scared Baekhyun will blow away with a breeze. His grip is hot, hard, and Baekhyun kisses long his neck, hides his face with his hair as he makes Sehun struggle to hold everything in.

Sehun pays, turns to see Baekhyun standing there, and the sun has fully risen now, bright orange and gold. Sehun smirks at him as the cab drives off, as they stand there on the sidewalk, the world waking around them. 

“You wanna go upstairs?” Sehun says. “You can still change your mind.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes go to the reddening mark on the right side of Sehun’s throat, bruise-like and beautiful. 

“I’m not gonna change my mind,” Baekhyun says, and he laces his fingers through Sehun’s. “Take me up.” 

Sehun’s hand is wet in Baekhyun’s as they get into the building, ride the elevator up to Sehun’s place. He opens the door, steps in, and Baekhyun follows, his feet screaming at him even after he slips out of his heels. 

Baekhyun looks around. It is cleaner than he would have expected a single man’s apartment to be. It looks nice. Smells nice too. Baekhyun appreciates that. He likes things clean. Tidy. 

“How do you manage that?” Sehun asks, and he pads off, out of site. 

“Manage what?” 

“The shoes,” Sehun calls. “I would die, I think.” 

“You get used to it,” Baekhyun answers. 

He stands there in Sehun’s living room, hand braced on the purse slung over his shoulder, and he waits. Sehun returns a moment later, two bottles of water in hand. Baekhyun cracks the lid on his, eagerly sips at it, and Sehun watches his throat move. 

“D-Do you want to use the bathroom?” Sehun asks. “You could… I mean, not that I’m rushing you or anything, just saying that if it would make you more comfortable, then—” 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says. “Thanks, uh, I’ve been tucked all night, so…” 

“Tuc—_right_,” Sehun says. “Right, yes. Of course. Sorry.” 

Baekhyun laughs, drains another quarter of his water, leaving it half empty. He sets it down onto the coffee table, stands back up straight, and he kisses Sehun on the mouth. 

“You sure you don’t wanna just do it like this?” Baekhyun offers. “I know you like me like this.” 

There is a certain heat to it, the thought of playing all dressed up, but… 

“I want you to be comfortable,” Sehun says, and it glides along Baekhyun’s lips. 

Baekhyun likes him too much, likes this feeling. Acceptance, or something that tastes the same. 

“Okay,” Baekhyun says, wrists hooked over one another as he holds Sehun in his arms. “Show me where the bathroom is.”  
  


«

Baekhyun strips it all away, layer by layer.

He takes the hand sanitizer out of his purse, squeezes some onto his finger and rubs at the lace of his wig. He pulls it off cleanly, wipes away the residual glue with a clean washcloth. 

He washes his face with some gentle soap that he finds in Sehun’s shower, gently scrubbing all the makeup away. He dries his face, pulls off his wig cap, and ruffles his fingers through his hair. 

He takes off the dress, the underwear. Puts the knife in his bag. 

He untucks, and he washes the stickiness from the tape away. He pees, moaning out as the feeling comes back into his lower half. 

He turns on the shower, turns on the fan for noise, and he washes himself for a quick fuck. 

Baekhyun looks at himself in the mirror, sees fear in his own reflection. _What are you so afraid of? He’s harmless._

And maybe that’s what it is. How harmless he is. How sweet. Baekhyun doesn’t deserve this. Doesn’t deserve him. But he will take him regardless. 

He tugs the thong back on for a spit of modesty, but it does little to hide his cock. He combs his fingers through his hair, opens the door to Sehun’s bedroom. 

Sehun is sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees as he looks at the floor. He is stripped of his pants, his shirt, his socks, and he’s wearing a pair of tight black boxer briefs. He is beautiful. Terribly beautiful. 

Baekhyun clears his throat, Sehun’s head shooting up, and his brows shoot up even higher. 

“W-Whoa,” Sehun says. “You look—” 

“Different?” 

“Yeah,” Sehun says. “Though I guess that’s… kinda the point.” 

Baekhyun folds his arms over his chest. “If you don’t like it, if it’s not… gonna work or whatever…,” and he shrugs, tries to channel Yujin’s carelessness when instead he feels more vulnerable than he ever has in his entire life. 

Sehun stands, surges up. He walks over to Baekhyun, the broad of his shoulders intimidating and strong. He pulls Baekhyun’s arms away from him, Sehun’s hand coming to hold the back of Baekhyun’s neck when he kisses him, when he licks into Baekhyun’s mouth and swallows Baekhyun’s gasp. 

Baekhyun holds Sehun’s face with both his hands, wants to cry about how happy this makes him, about how gargantuan and _electric_ the feeling inside him is. He kisses Sehun hard, fast, messy and mean, and he moans. Moans. Moans. 

Sehun’s hands come to the small of Baekhyun’s back, and it is some approximation of their dance from hours earlier, but with less clothes, with less between them. It feels so raw, feels so sensitive to the touch. He pushes up against Sehun wantonly, and when he feels his arousal against him, it sends currents of heat through him, shaking and red. Sehun mouths along his neck, and Baekhyun squeezes out a sound of distilled pleasure, clean and uncontaminated. 

Baekhyun holds Sehun by the hair, scratches lightly along Sehun’s scalp with the tips of his fake nails, and he feels the way Sehun responds, the length of him shivering against Baekhyun. 

“Do you like that?” Baekhyun whispers, and he threads his fingers through Sehun’s hair, pulling gently. “Do you like it when I touch you like that?” 

“Yes,” Sehun moans, high and needy. “Yes, please, more.” 

Baekhyun shoves him backwards, and Sehun’s body falls to the bed, just as open and vulnerable as Baekhyun feels. 

He climbs onto him, grinds their bodies together, the storm twisting and raging underneath the surface of them both. They moan, and Sehun calls him _hyung_ in that sweet voice of his. It’s dangerous, something as addictive as that, and Baekhyun can already feel himself wanting just another bit of it, just one more taste. 

They kiss like crashing waves, and Baekhyun takes more of Sehun with every breath. It’s too passionate for a one night stand, but Baekhyun has so much building up beneath the surface. This is his outlet. Just once, he tells himself. _Just once._

Baekhyun reaches between their bodies, strokes Sehun with a hand, and he licks the sound of pleasure off Sehun’s lips. 

“F-Fuck,” Sehun says, and the sound hisses out, a sudden rising of steam. “Fuck.” 

“Feel good?” 

“_Yes_,” he answers, and he kisses Baekhyun hard, his tongue winding in Baekhyun’s mouth as he reaches down to stroke Baekhyun through the lace.

It has been a long time since he’s had someone touch him, even since he’s touched himself, and he wonders if it’s always been this good or if it’s something about Sehun specifically that makes it so fucking hot, so endlessly sexy that he can’t think of anything besides wet heat, besides the heartbeat that is thumping in his ears. 

They work against each other, pushing and pulling their hips in a steady, burning rhythm, and they kiss until Baekhyun can only feel the blood blooming in his lips, a blush on his cheeks that spreads down his neck. 

They touch each other with pin-point accuracy, the kind that should only be built over time, but Sehun manages to find his most sensitive spots, tickles them and and kisses them and pinches them and runs his fingers over them until they’re red, sore, begging for more. Baekhyun is a second away from asking where Sehun keeps his lube, but he doesn’t want to break the spell. Still, he needn’t worry. Sehun breaks it for them both. 

“Do you want me to bottom?” Sehun whispers, and he sucks a kiss to Baekhyun’s throat, just below his Adam’s apple. “I don’t mind.” 

It catches Baekhyun by surprise, as Sehun is wont to do, he’s discovered. 

“Have you ever bottomed before?” Baekhyun asks, just as quiet, the room fallen strangely silent. 

“No,” Sehun says. “But I wouldn’t mind if my first time was with you.” 

The words are effervescent and bubbling in Baekhyun’s mouth as he tastes their sweetness. This man doesn’t know him. Doesn’t know all the blistering ugliness underneath. Doesn’t even know Baekhyun’s name, and yet he’s willing to… to give Baekhyun anything he wants. A part of Baekhyun wants to slap him, wants to tell him to protect himself, wants to tell him that he is in a precarious position here, with Baekhyun overtop of him. Baekhyun could kill him. Doesn’t want to, never would. But he could. 

“I got these,” Baekhyun says, and he spreads his fingers, waves them as he displays his nails. He scratches five thin lines down Sehun’s chest. “Plus, do you know what that entails? The preparation and everything?” 

“I told you, I had a boyfriend once,” Sehun whimpers. “I just wanna—” 

“Let me, okay?” Baekhyun says, and he rolls them over, his back against the mattress. “Touch me.” 

“Y-Yeah, okay,” Sehun mutters, and he starts to kiss down Baekhyun’s body, and where he could be ruthless, efficient, he lingers. He puts open-mouthed kisses along Baekhyun’s pectorals, licks along the underside of the muscle. Sucks marks as he goes. “Is this okay?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun whimpers. “Yes, please.” 

“Please what?” 

“Keep going,” Baekhyun orders, but the sharpness is soon dulled. “Please.” 

Baekhyun shuts his eyes, squeezes them so tight he sees stars painted along the blackness, and he feels Sehun’s lips twitch into a smile against his skin. He is slow-moving, almost reverent as he makes his way down, and when he strips Baekhyun of his underwear, he hardly notices, so hyper-focused instead on Sehun’s mouth and where it will go next. 

Sehun pets his palm along the head of Baekhyun’s cock, makes his hips kick out. 

“Can I suck your cock?” Sehun asks, and Baekhyun doesn’t know if he’s ever been asked before, but the words are so frighteningly hot that they make him tingle with heat all over. 

“Y-Yes, please, please,” Baekhyun moans. “God.” 

Sehun takes no more time to deliberate, kissing wetly at the tip of Baekhyun’s dick until he cries out for more. Sehun obliges him, gives him what he wants. His cheeks hollow for a moment as he sucks Baekhyun in, his lips full and slick around Baekhyun’s length. 

He thrusts shallowly into Sehun’s mouth, a torturously slow motion, back and forth. Heat balls up in Baekhyun’s stomach as he moves, bunching up the muscles in his legs and abdomen as he works, stumbles closer and closer as Sehun moans around him, the vibrations tingling down, spiralling out underneath his skin, red tendrils of arousal. 

Baekhyun lets out a breathy moan as he threads his fingers through Sehun’s hair, aimlessly scratching at his scalp, and he looks to the ceiling, closes his eyes as Sehun kisses and tongues at him, stroking him with a hand. 

“Fuck,” Baekhyun groans, “_fuck_.” 

“Good?” Sehun asks, and when Baekhyun looks down at him, he has one hand between his legs, stroking his own cock in time with Baekhyun’s. 

His eyes are glassy. He looks like sex. Looks like a fucking dream. 

“Yeah, come on,” Baekhyun says, and he pulls Sehun up by the hair, forces him to slide back up Baekhyun’s body to kiss again, again, again. “Touch me.” 

He takes Sehun’s hand in his, lets it fall down his chest, his stomach, down, down. 

“Y-Yeah,” Sehun stammers. “Yeah, okay.” 

He looks nervous with energy and lust as he goes to his bedside table, grabs the bottle and the foil. Baekhyun watches him, watches the way his obliques shift as he moves. Everything about him, the way he moves and the way he speaks, it’s all erotic. Baekhyun sits up, grabs him by the back of the neck, kisses him harshly, makes everything fall to the bed. 

He lays back down, watching as Sehun slicks his fingers, slow as he pushes against Baekhyun. 

“Come on,” Baekhyun says. “Do it.” 

Sehun’s touch threatens to breach him, threatens to push in, but it is little more than a tease, and Baekhyun whines, throws his head back, tries to get Sehun’s finger inside. 

“Just relax,” Sehun says, and he is so calm, so soft, Baekhyun just wants to rough him up, make him harder and meaner. Baekhyun isn’t used to this kind of treatment, doesn’t remember ever having it before. “Are you okay?” 

“Y-Yeah,” Baekhyun says. “Please, just…” 

And the finger slips inside him, makes him gasp as he pulls it deeper inside him. He groans when it pushes in, slides easily, and he moans as Sehun kisses his knee, down inside his thigh. 

“Okay?” Sehun asks, and he withdraws just a millimeter, enough to make Baekhyun shake. “Does it hurt?” 

“No.” He gasps, chest heaving. “No, it feels good.” 

“Really?” Sehun tests his claim, slides in again, and it is a delicious stretch, his body bending at Sehun’s will. “Should I wait to move it more?” 

“No, no, it’s good,” Baekhyun says. “Please.” 

Sehun is hyper-focused as he touches Baekhyun, one slick hand teasing at the tip of Baekhyun’s cock, the other stretching him, preparing him with a diligence that makes Baekhyun’s mouth go dry. He can’t focus on anything besides the sounds being ripped out of his mouth, the wet sounds between his legs, the soft praise that Sehun lays on his skin like ink, staining him. 

“Please, another,” Baekhyun begs, and he tilts his hips so Sehun’s digit slides deeper inside him, bottoms out. “_Fuck_.” 

“Are you sure?” Sehun asks. “We can take our time.” 

But the day is shattering through the window, and Baekhyun knows he will be gone soon. 

“Another, please,” Baekhyun moans. “Please, come on.” 

Sehun takes him at his word, slides a second finger in and carefully curls them to brush along Baekhyun’s prostate. A deep, tingling ache takes him by surprise, and he feels himself leak at the light pressure, the skating of Sehun’s fingertips. 

He moans, arches his back, starts to work his hips down onto Sehun’s fingers as Sehun closes in, kisses the noises, moans and gasps and groans, from Baekhyun’s mouth. Baekhyun feels like he’s running a fever when Sehun starts to target his prostate, the heat zipping through like the earth in a lightning storm, bright white spots blooming inside him like bruises. 

Baekhyun doesn’t even notice when Sehun adds the third finger, and he bites Sehun’s lip between his teeth when Sehun tries to pull away from him. 

“Don’t leave,” Baekhyun says, and there is a rushing in his head, a need to hold onto Sehun with all his might. “Stay here.” 

“D-Do you want to come?” Sehun asks. “Should I—” 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “S-Sorry, I just—I don’t know, I feel…” 

“Feel how?” 

“Good,” Baekhyun shudders out. “You make me feel good.” 

“Good,” Sehun says, and he presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s neck. “I’m glad you’re feeling good.” 

Absently, Sehun pushes his hips against Baekhyun, their cocks sliding up against one another, and Baekhyun rakes his nails across Sehun’s back as they grind together. 

“Fuck me,” Baekhyun whispers. “Please?” 

Sehun kisses him and licks the words away before he sits up, tearing the foil and rolling the condom on. He wets his hand, slicks his way along his cock, and his body bows as he touches himself. Baekhyun observes in silence as sex drips from his every fucking pore, and then, when Sehun looks at him, he reaches down, wraps a hand around himself like he’s looking in a mirror. 

“Fuck, you look good,” Sehun says, and he pumps another three fingers into Baekhyun’s body, makes him groan. “God, you’re so—” 

And he never finishes the statement, merely leans in to kiss Baekhyun, but Baekhyun likes that more than the words anyway. 

Baekhyun spreads his legs to make room for Sehun to kneel, and he lays a hand on Sehun’s shoulder, a careful hand at Sehun’s cock as he guides him in. 

“It’s been a long time for me,” Sehun says with a shaky smile. 

“How long?” Baekhyun asks. 

“A couple months.” 

Baekhyun rubs the tip of Sehun’s cock against him, feels himself open around the pressure. It is hot, unbearably hot, and he moans as Sehun moans, trembling with desire. He wants to push inside, wants to bottom out. Baekhyun can tell. He can feel Sehun’s need like it’s his own. 

“Me too,” Baekhyun says. “Been a long time. Make it good, okay? Make it count.” 

He hooks his legs around Sehun’s body, lets go of his cock once it’s well positioned, and he draws Sehun inside, their bodies meeting softly. 

They both moan, little wet sounds from their mouths, and Sehun lays his body down onto Baekhyun’s, caging him in with his arms. He kisses them both quiet, but they grow so loud as the heat builds like a fever dream. 

Sehun holds him tenderly as they both grow accustomed to the feeling of the other, and Baekhyun breathes out. It wasn’t a lie before. He hasn’t done this in a while, so it takes a minute to acclimate to it again. But once he does, once his body accepts it and relaxes and falls flat, he looks up into Sehun’s eyes. He is burning up in that gaze. Soon, there will be nothing but ash left. 

“Are you okay?” Sehun asks. 

Baekhyun laces his fingers together behind Sehun’s head, gently pulls him in, kisses him sweetly like this is something he could have forever.  
“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, and his breath hitches as Sehun pulls his hips back. “Oh, God, I—” 

He is holding Baekhyun open, just the tip of his cock inside, and Baekhyun has already begged too much, can’t sink much lower into this. 

“Okay?” Sehun asks again, and Baekhyun is forceful as he drags Sehun back into a kiss, as their bodies collide like stars. 

Sweat drips from him, from Sehun, and Sehun fucks him like Baekhyun might be stolen away from him at any moment, like this is something he wants to remember. There is a restraint still in him, careful and cautious, but Baekhyun feels the brunt of the passion, Sehun’s heartbeat singing all through Baekhyun’s body as he thrusts in and in, over and over again. 

“Fuck,” Sehun curses, and he reaches down, strokes Baekhyun where he is hard and dripping. “Does it feel good?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you like it?” 

“_Yes_, I like it.” 

Sehun wants to hear him, so Baekhyun talks, tells him how good it feels, tells him how much he fucking likes it, tells him how he wants it, fast and then slow, then all the way in and all the way out just to fuck all the way back in again. Baekhyun can feel the tumbling arousal in his stomach, furious and hot, and it approaches like a freight train, angry and unstoppable. 

Baekhyun pushes Sehun back by the shoulders, makes Sehun’s eyes go wide. 

“W-What?” 

And Baekhyun turns, gets up on his elbows and his knees, looks back over his shoulder. Sehun needs no more explanation, only takes Baekhyun by the hips and slips in. 

Sehun’s fingertips bruise at his hip bones, and Baekhyun rocks back against each of Sehun’s thrusts. Every time he pumps his hips, Baekhyun comes to meet him, tightens up as Sehun kisses wet marks along Baekhyun’s back, breathes out _hyung_ in Baekhyun’s ear. 

Baekhyun collapses to the bed, not strong enough to shoulder the weight any longer. He is useless with passion, with adrenaline, and he just wants more. Always wants more of this. 

Sehun flips him back over, and he is beautiful, so desperate and so beautiful. He fucks back inside to a duet of moans. Sharp, needy, and honest. 

_How did we manage to find each other in this life?_, Baekhyun wonders. _What if we could meet someplace else, as different people? Could I have you forever and always_ then_?_

He claws at Sehun’s shoulders and his back, leaves red marks along his skin as they come together, as they pour into each other. As they leave so much behind, breadcrumbs for later. 

After so much noise, it is quiet when they clean each other. When all is said and done, he stares at Sehun until Sehun closes his eyes, and only then does Baekhyun follow suit, drunk on the moment, the wonderful, delicious fantasy.  
  


«

He only lets himself rest for a few hours.

Baekhyun slips out of Sehun’s bed while Sehun is still sleeping. He goes to Sehun’s dresser, grabs a pair of sweats. Goes to his closet, grabs a baggy t-shirt. He takes a bag from Sehun’s kitchen, throws his dress and his purse and his wig into it. 

He is about to leave, pad lightly back across the threshold and back into his real life, not this beautiful little bubble he’s let himself step into, but something stops him. 

Uselessly, he sets his things down by the door, makes for the kitchen. He grabs a takeout menu and a pen from the drawer. Scribbles onto it. 

_sorry i missed you. thanks for last night. talk soon_

He sets the pen down, stares down at the note for a minute before picking the pen back up, adding _hyung_ at the end. 

Baekhyun goes back to the door, grabs his things, and gets out before ten.  
  


«

It doesn’t take long for Sehun to begin grabbing for communication, and despite what the pit of his stomach tells him to do, Baekhyun ignores all of it.

It starts with a friend request on KakaoTalk, and he ignores it. Baekhyun wants him to take the hint. Leave. _Leave_. 

Sehun isn’t fervent, not annoying or desperate, but he does text Baekhyun _you didn’t have to run, we could have gotten lunch_ later on that very same night. Baekhyun’s fingers hover over the keyboard, and he thinks about replying. 

_where would you have taken me? what would we have eaten? do you want to take me places? do you want to try things with me? do you want to build a little life with me?_

Baekhyun doesn’t answer, not that day or the next, and then, the texts stop coming, just as Baekhyun knew they would. He ghosts, leaves the beautiful memory of Sehun like dust in his wake.  
  


«

Baekhyun becomes Yujin again, and everything recedes. He tries his best to forget about Sehun, but he pops up in Baekhyun’s thoughts, drawing him out of and away from his character. He shakes it away, brushes away the cobwebs of a man who managed to make him feel like a person again. Like a person who was worthy of love.

He works. Studies. Does what he’s supposed to do. He keeps his fucking head down. Keeps moving.  
  


»

He is sitting at his vanity one week later, and he’s got everything prepared. He’s got cyanide in his clutch, he’s got his knife at his thigh. The mark: purple hair, slits in his eyebrows, tattoo. Baekhyun tries to focus. Tries to focus on the task at hand.

His phone vibrates as he’s applying gloss to his lips. 

Baekhyun looks down at the notification, feels his veneer slipping. 

_hyung can i be honest? i miss you_

Baekhyun can still hear Sehun’s voice ringing in his ears. 

He doesn’t make it to the club.

**Author's Note:**

> i started this thinking all i wanted to write was porn and then i got lost in my stupidity, as im wont to do. sorry abt that. also sorry that this is completely unedited, i really only wanted to write about 2k and then, as i previously mentioned, i got lost in my stupidity. 
> 
> regardless, i do hope that u enjoyed [gestures vaguely] whatever this was. 
> 
> i hope you have a great day. please get lots of good brain chemicals goin. follow me on twitter for updates abt things i'm writing, send me a question if u have one. thanks! bye! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


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